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Angry? No. Sad, Maybe.

by Matador Mike

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1.
I've been thinking a lot quite recently About my mum, and my dad, and my family And how the space and the time between us keeps growing But we're just as strong, if not stronger But what would it take in a trice In a moment of time passing by For the rope to weather, and break, and sever the ties, that once gave me life Everything's moving so fast Everything's moving so fast Everything's moving so fast
2.
Tom wakes up at 7 am everyday, puts on his shirt and tie Kisses his wife coldly as he takes his place and settles in for the long, long drive "Remember way back when i was 17, chewing on the fruits of life?" he said "It's a long way back, might as well drive" Tom wakes up at 7 am everyday, puts on his shirt and tie Kisses his wife coldly as he takes his place and settles in for the long, long drive "Remember way back when i was 17, chewing on the fruits of life?" he said "It's a long way back, might as well drive" Stevie's got a good job, making good money He's a shadow of the man he used to be He got himself a wife and he got himself a kid Now he's got himself a model family "Remember way back when i was 21, drinking down the fruits of life?" he said "It's a long way back, might as well drive" Matt leaves work at 1700 and heads straight for the pub Making up for the time he's lost 12 units down his neck, and now he's ready to head back home to the woman he loves "Remember way back when i was just a boy? Couldn't wait to go out and play." he said "It's a long way back, might as well" "It's a long way back, might as well drive"
3.
Fat Cats 03:39
Call it morbid curiosity or downright doubt I'd like to see what happens if they all died out The swamp is getting thicker, there's no change i can see As the wolf feeds on the innocent to keep his shiny teeth You see these empty futures Built on empty promises Built by broken people In a broken world of politics? Confrontational by nature, you pick and choose your fights Shy away from a debate, but take the killer bite A fat cat in a mansion sucking on a fat cigar A bulldog in his castle wreaking havoc from afar You see these empty futures Built on empty promises Built by broken people In a broken world of politics?
4.
Speak soft i'm a murderer of words I like to talk, i like to be heard I talk a lot, i have to be heard So speak soft i'm a murderer of words I like to talk, i like to be heard I shout a lot, i have to be heard All these people shouting in a green room with high ceilings And a man sat in the middle playing god amongst the drivel Not power to the people, i see ego and it's shadow I see fear and disillusion and a mindset that is narrow More circus than commission, from their seats they breathe division Blind by numbers, dumb by spite Preaching ignorance an oversight Twisted Tongue-tied twisted Lies and lies and lies and lies and lies and lies and lies and lies They say they're telling the truth but they're covering their necks They're running away as they collect their paychecks They say they're fighting for country They're fighting each other One after another Squabbling like infants and acting like children In a green room with high ceilings, hypocrites and maniacs Ignorance and new division These are the times we live in And i'm tired I'm tongue-tied twisted
5.
(part 1) 00:38
instrumental
6.
Shipwrecks 06:45
What are all these shipwrecks without their stories? What are all these shipwrecks without their stories? What are all these shipwrecks without their stories? What are all these shipwrecks without their stories? You're giving me an answer but your answer's boring I've heard these things, they happen for a reason The ships are sinking at the start of hunting season So what are all these shipwrecks without their stories? What are all these shipwrecks without their stories? You're giving me an answer but your answer's boring I've heard these things, they happen for a reason The ships are sinking at the start of hunting season Safe to assume i'm safe When i'm listening to the angels sing in outer space Safe to assume i'm safe When i'm watching all these buildings move in and out of place So what are all these shipwrecks without their stories? You're giving me an answer but your answer's boring I've heard these things, they happen for a reason Once you've set your head on fire You better make sure your mind's the lighter Once you've set your head on fire You better make sure your mind's the lighter Once you've set your head on fire You better make sure your mind's the lighter Once you've set your head on fire You better make sure your mind's the lighter
7.
must end. 02:37
instrumental
8.
"no need to put your belt on, we're only going down the road". lights fade, and the tunnel's empty. you're on your own. two flashes out the corner of your eye bring you back. you materialize. "am i dead?" she said. "i'm feeling kinda strange". "you'll be alright". "'cause you've had quite the day. it seems you crashed your car following your dreams. and then, thank god that you weren't alone, 'cause somebody tried to take your soul and make it their own". it's always wishful thinking. it's always wishful thinking. it's always wishful thinking. that makes hearts go breaking down. turn around it's the middle of the ocean. you ran away with the tide. or got swept away by your own decisions as they came to life. you try your best but you realize you're not happy where you are. understand that you got your hopes up, and come crashing down hard. a stone's throw from home yet you feel so far. you can't get back 'cause you crashed your car. you're telling yourself that it's all a bad dream, but it's so fucking hard when it feels so real 'cause it's always wishful thinking. it's always wishful thinking. it's always wishful thinking. that makes hearts go breaking. it's always wishful thinking. it's always wishful thinking. it's always wishful thinking. that makes hearts go breaking down.
9.
Skin 04:41
I've got to get out, i've stayed too long My mind's becoming poison and my body's feeling numb I hope that you know that i love you so More than i'll ever know how to say I hope you know that you're not to blame For the choices i made when i left home It'll get better in the summer It'll get better so they say It'll get better now that the winter's gone away Now the summer's on it's way I don't think it's fair that we don't get to choose I'm only still here 'cause i've got something to prove To myself and nobody else I'll be alright if i just keep my head And wear my own clothes, and tattoo my skin And start to digest these demons within It'll get better in the summer It'll get better so they say It'll get better now that the winter's gone away Now the summer's on it's way
10.
Though i've tried to feel at home with everyone, and anyone I've tried and i've returned Empty handed, but lesson learned 'Cause i feel alone, and happy again A little sad when i'm stuck in my head It's not that bad, but it's creeping in Sometimes this silence is deafening And though i never asked for this I try and take it as a gift But it's a burden on my mind Acting like i know who i am, what i am, and why i'm Alone, and happy again A little sad when i'm stuck in my head It's not that bad, but it's creeping in Sometimes this silence is deafening I want to sit inside a frame And show off all my quiet pain I want to try but i'll refrain 'Cause i Yeah i, Yeah i'm the saddest boy you'll never know
11.
(water) 00:39
instrumental
12.
The Carnival 06:26
She's getting ready for the carnival Putting on her favourite makeup, that brings out her eyes Animalistically behavioural, with heels strapped to her feet But she's no way to tell the time Revelling in survival Blind eye to the track marks and train tracks she walks by Mentally unstable A pin prick oh so gentle cuts the thin thread she hangs by Nights as long as the knife that cuts It's blunt by the time that she's done And she waves goodbye to the carnival tonight "Dealer don't give me my last card, there's no need" "It's over, i've already won" He smiles and says: "i've been playing all along" As he plays his last hand, pulls an ace from his sleeve Lays it flat on the table, made a fool out of me In this world we live in, the house always wins He never wanted to get stuck in safety With polished shoes and a jet black hair piece He thought he'd be the creative type But he stumbled into humdrum and got given life He checks the time on his wristwatch made of gold And he waves goodbye to the carnival tonight "Dealer don't give me my last card, there's no need" "It's over, i've already won" He smiles and says: "i've been playing all along" As he plays his last hand, pulls an ace from his sleeve Lays it flat on the table, made a fool out of me In this world we live in, the house always wins
13.
tether 00:43
14.
Scratches underneath the carpet I remember when you said this house was haunted On a night like this 116 years ago Lightning when i close my eyes The thunder will come on another day But the flashes are here, as quick as they fade away Well maybe i should've paid more attention I lost my ticket, i was feeling the bliss Like the ego on a preacher on a million dollar list Well maybe i should've paid more attention And i start to wonder if this house is really here There's bodies under floorboards and there's malice in the air Well maybe i should've paid more attention. 'Cause eyes fall away, but i endure And eyes fall away, but i endure And eyes fall away, but i endure And eyes fall away, but i endure Endure I lost my ticket, i was feeling the bliss Like the ego on a preacher on a million dollar list Well maybe i should've paid more attention And the weather seems so different here, there's two suns in the sky There's a mountain made of rain clouds and a heaven made of fire Well maybe i should've paid more attention 'Cause eyes fall away, but i endure And eyes fall away, but i endure And eyes fall away, but i endure And eyes fall away, but i endure Endure Endure Endure
15.
Part 2 08:24
She said: "i'm not angry" "But sad, maybe" "I'm just watching, the cards are all in your hands" "So if you would like to talk sometime" "Get back in touch" "Then i'll be in the room" She said: "i'm not angry" "But sad, maybe" "I'm just watching, the cards are all in your hands" "So if you would like to talk sometime" "Get back in touch" "Then i'll be in the room" In my jealousy, all my memories are coming clean Torn apart at the seams Seems like what i say isn't what i mean Five years had passed Building up to something that could never last Oh put my mind at ease Do it for me (In the back of my head everyday) (Again and again the answer you gave) (The answer you gave me) (The answer you gave me) (The answer you gave me) She said: "i'm not angry" "But sad, maybe" "I'm just watching, the cards are all in your hands" "So if you would like to talk sometime" "Get back in touch" "Then i'll be in the room" She said: "i'm not angry" "But sad, maybe" "I'm just watching, the cards are all in your hands" "So if you would like to talk sometime" "Get back in touch" "Then i'll be in the room"

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Angry? No.
Sad, Maybe.

All purchases come with pdf booklet of track artwork and lyrics.

Written and recorded 2017-2020 in the various bedrooms I have occupied.

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released April 17, 2020

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Matador Mike London, UK

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